


Just Do Me

by Ladybird_0



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Reader-Insert, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-16 21:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15446571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladybird_0/pseuds/Ladybird_0
Summary: You never would have thought it to be this hard to get Kakashi to sleep with you. It wasn't like you hadn't done it before. But something was off about him this week and, though you really didn't want to ask the perv for help, you felt you didn't have much to lose by giving his little book a try.[Kakashi Hatake x Reader]{Response to Choco-Monster-Disease's challenge, "How to seduce your man in ten steps!" on Luna}





	1. The Gift

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I wrote a long time ago that got put on hiatus after Luna had a long shut down. If it gains some popularity here, I'll decide to keep it going. So let me know if you're enjoying it in the comments! Thank you!

"It's just a little gift, nothing personal. It's coming to you from the goodness in my heart!"

You stared suspiciously at the thin package sitting on your kitchen table. It was wrapped in simple brown paper, waiting for you to open it. Cautiously, and against your better judgement, you picked the package up and flipped it over in your hands a few times.

"Now, I'm not saying you need it, but I'm not saying it won't help!" The sannin ninja sent you a wink from across the table. He took a big gulp of his tea before pouring himself some more from the pot.

"What is it?" You continued to play with the package in your hand. It was light and thin so it couldn't be anything too dangerous. But you weren't worried about the man in your kitchen bringing danger, you were worried about him poking his perverted nose into your life.

"Well you'll just have to open it and see!"

You stared at him for a long minute. You didn't break eye contact. You wanted to see if he would crack under your gaze, like the kids at the academy did, and spill his true intentions for coming here so early in the morning. But the ninja just continued to stare at you, with his pervy, knowing stare, and eventually you cracked and began tearing at the brown paper.

The removal of the packaging revealed a small black book. You flipped it over and surveyed the cover.

_"How to Seduce Your Man in Ten Easy Steps!" by Dr. J. Sann_

Your face flushed a deep shade of red. "Wh-what the hell is this?!" 

Jiraiya laughed. "Well it's one of my newest books of course! It's not even available in stores yet! You're welcome!"

Your face turned even redder. "What makes you think I want to read that stupid dime-store smut?! And what's with the fake name?!" You dropped the book on the table growing more flustered. Jiraiya pouted.

"Hey, my work is highly praised. And the name was just a fun touch to keep my identity hidden. I didn't want it affiliated with any of my other novels."

You huffed and brushed away his defenses. "Well thank you, Jiraiya, but I don't want it." You paused for a moment. "Correction, I don't need it! My sex life is just fine, thank you!" You crossed your arms and leaned back in the wooden chair with a final 'hmph!'

"Are you sure about that, hun?" He stared at you again with the same knowing stare. 

You thought for a moment. When was the last time you and Kakashi had sex? Or did anything sexual for that matter? You pouted on the inside, realizing that your sex life was not perfectly fine and was actually pushing non-existent right now. But you refused to let this perv know that. 

"Yes," you lied confidently. You somehow managed to keep a straight face too.

The man looked you over carefully for another moment and eyed you suspiciously. "Completely sure?" he asked, doubtfully. 

"Yes," you said again.

He sighed and threw his arms up. "Well then, if you're sure. I guess you won't be needing this." He took the book from the table and finished off his tea before standing. "I'll be going then."

You nodded to him as he headed for the door.

"See ya' around, you little sex-monkey!" He sent you another wink before closing the door behind him. Your jaw hit the floor and your face had now passed all shades of red and was just plain purple. Your forehead smacked the table with a heavy thud. So you lied. Your sex life didn't even exist. Kakashi was just too damn busy all the time, what were you supposed to do? After working with the kids at the academy all day you were already tired. And when Kakashi did come home, it was always late, and you were both tired. 

You sat up, feeling a sudden wave of dominance. This needed to change. Kakashi would be home tomorrow and you would make your move. You smiled to yourself. You would have him panting out your name in ecstasy within thirty minutes of walking in. Your grin grew wider. 

"And I don't need that stupid book's help to do it."


	2. Failure

"Ngh... mmm... ooooh. Oh my god. Ugh, please... oh my god, please, I'm almost there! Mmmmm!" 

You fell to the floor in sweet relief. Your skin was sticky with sweat. You panted heavily. The quick breaths ghosted past your lips in a steady beat. 

"Finally," you huffed. "Damn couch."

You had spent a good twenty minutes trying to move the couch in your living room from one corner to the other. The stupid thing turned out to be a lot heavier than you expected and instead of simply sliding it across the wood flooring to the other end of the room, you got down and inched it across the floor using your legs to push it from the wall. 

You finished catching your breath and stood up to make one final check on the room. The furniture was now successfully rearranged. The candles were set. The lights were dim. Everything was in place. To top it all off, you were dressed in sexy, thin, black lace and looking quite good, if you did say so yourself. Two thin straps hung over your bare shoulders and the rest of the thin fabric came to fall delicately against your small frame. It was held together by a single red bow, tied just below your breasts. The underwear, made in matching black lace, hugged your hips and accentuated your round backside. Your hair was pulled back in a single tie adding a sleek touch of elegance to your appearance. Everything was perfect. You sat down on the couch, careful not to disturb the precisely placed candles or wrinkle your attire. Kakashi would walk through the door any minute and once he did, your mission would begin.

Sure enough, not two minutes after you sat down you heard the doorknob jiggle from down the hall. You sat up quickly and smoothed your hair and your top. The door swung open and in stumbled the copy-cat ninja, dragging his feet behind him.

"I'm home," he called out, kicking off his shoes.

"I'm in here!" you called back, standing up from the couch and walking to the doorframe which led into the front hall. "Welcome back," you said smiling, looking the man's backside up and down. You couldn't wait to see his face when he took one look at you.

"Good to be back," he said, turning to you. "I'm exhausted," he stated bluntly before coming to stand in front of you. He froze upon noticing your attire and looked you up and down. A small smirk spread across your lips and sparks of excitement ignited in your stomach. You could see the lust in his eyes. He took a step closer to you. He leaned down, his face inching nearer and nearer to yours. Your smile only widened and you leaned in a bit too, preparing for the passionate kiss that was sure to come. Your hands reached up to playful pull at the mask that kept his mouth from your lips. His arms snaked around your waist and his fingers became intertwined with the lace waistband above your rear. Your nerves went wild at the small touches and hot pants of breath on your lips. His face was now inches from yours and... his head dropped down to rest on your shoulder and his arms dropped to his sides. 

"Let's go to bed."

Your jaw almost hit the floor. "W-what?!... Didn't you notice... I... really, Kakashi?" you growled at him through grit teeth. 

Damn tease. You watched him for a moment. His breaths were steady and relaxed. He looked so content just lying on your shoulder. Your hand came to rest on the back of his head, stroking his hair softly. You were slightly heartbroken, but you supposed he really was tired... 

_No,_ you thought to yourself, your determination returning. _I'm not going to give up yet!_

"C'mon Kakashi," you smirked. "I can think of about ten different things to do in about ten different positions that would be more fun." The words left your lips in a seductive tone. Your other arm came up to run fingers down his chest and slowly start pulling at the zipper on his vest. You began placing short sweet kisses in the crook of his neck. "Hm, what do you think?" you said between kisses. Your answer was met with silence and you stopped.

"Kakashi?" After another moment of just standing there you placed your hands on his shoulders and pushed him off you so he could stand on his own. Only, he couldn't. He was fast asleep. "Wha- Kakashi!" 

His body weight began shifting forward and into your palms which were all that was keeping him standing. The realization that you were half his size and couldn't hold him came too late. He began tumbling forward. Your elbows bent from the increase in weight. "Oh shi-" Your elbows folded and the ninja came down on top of you, pinning you to the hardwood floor under his body mass. You groaned a bit from the sores and bruises that had already appeared. 

"Ugh, really?" you whined, lying helplessly beneath the large man. "Reeeeaaallly? The gods hate me..." you whimpered. You tried pushing the male off of you. "Kakashi... when I imagined you being on top, this isn't exactly what I had in mind," you whined, struggling beneath him.

You poked and prodded a bit more but failed to wake the man up. You sighed in defeat and fell flat to the floor again. You stared up at your ceiling for another minute longer, moping in your failure, before growing irritated and forcing yourself out from underneath him. 

"Well fine," you huffed, agitated and out of breath from your struggle. "You can sleep down here tonight!" You spoke to your roommate as if he could still hear you. 

You stormed up the stairs and shut the door behind you in aggravation. You flopped down onto the bed and grumbled some more. So you really couldn't seduce him on your own. Your sex life was officially a failure. _You_ were officially a failure. He hadn't even noticed all your hard work! You rolled over onto a pillow. Something was up. You used to know all the little ways to get Kakashi going, and now he was falling asleep on you when you pretty much threw yourself at him, half naked. His job was half done! Your mind wandered back to the other morning...

"Ugghh.. I really don't want to ask that perv for help... but..." You shoved your face in the pillow and groaned again.

But, you really didn't have much to lose. You would get Kakashi in bed again, no matter what you had to do.


	3. Game On

"Well, well, well, look who it is. The great sex-goddess herself. The girl with the best love life in the world. She didn't need any help from an educated specialist like me!"

You scowled at the large man as you approached the table he was seated at in the cafe. His voice was so loud and carried so easily, that a few innocent townsfolk had heard his rather obscene comment and had turned to see you walk in and sit down. 

"Jiraiya, please."

"Oh no, you don't have to say it again. I know you're too good for my book. This 'dime-store smut' isn't worth your time." He had picked up the little black book that you returned to him the other morning and was now waving it around in the air as he talked. "Really, don't say it again. I don't think I can take the heartbreak!"

"Jiraiya, _please!_ Just shut-up, I'm willing to discuss this." You tried your hardest to remain calm and rid yourself of all the frustration and irritation that was brewing inside you. 

"What's that?" The sannin leaned closer to you, as if he had misheard a secret you were trying to tell him. "You want it back? So, your sex life really isn't fine, and you're not really the crazy sex-monkey you claim to be? It can't be true!" The teasing tone in his voice caused your cheeks to turn a bright shade of red.

"Jiraiya, shut-up now, or I'm going to leave!" you growled through grit teeth. 

"Alright, alright," the older man said and shook his head. "I was just having some fun."

"Yeah," you scoffed, "at my expense. Now the whole entire cafe knows my sex-life sucks."

A small smile appeared on Jiraiya's face. "Well maybe if you had taken up my first offer instead of insulting my book, they wouldn't have found that out." He shook his head. "I tried to tell you, but you insisted."

You let out an irritated groan. "I know, and I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for not trusting you and I'm sorry for making fun of your book. Can I please have it back now?"

The sannin ninja eyed you carefully. "I don't know..." he said after a long while. "You don't sound very sincere."

You rolled your eyes. Had you known it was going to be this hard, you might have just waited for the book to be released to the public. It had been weeks since Kakashi and you had had sex, what was another month? You thought about just getting up and leaving the cafe. If Jiraiya was going to pick on you, you really didn't want to be there to hear it. You thought a little harder though, and realized just how desperate you were. You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

"Please, Jiraiya," you said softly. "I really need all the help I can get right now." Your eyes fell to the cup of tea that had been placed in front of you when you sat down. "I'm kind of worried."

Jiraiya was silent for a bit, but then spoke up. "I'm guessing last night didn't go very well?" 

You shook your head and your cheeks turned another bright shade of red as you remembered the embarrassing evening. It was almost as if Kakashi had been _trying_ to ignore you. You knew Kakashi too well, he was too smart to not notice that you were up to something. You had thrown yourself at him. You set everything up! Why did he push you away? Without even realizing it, a few tears dropped from your eyes and onto the table around your tea cup. 

"Woah there kiddo, you're going to make your tea salty." Jiraiya reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean cloth and handed it to you. "Things can't be that bad," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

"They're not... well maybe they are, I don't know. I hadn't even realized it until now, but we hardly even see each other. He's always got a new mission and I'm always getting called to work weekend daycare at the academy. He comes home so late that I always fall asleep on the couch waiting for him and he's never there when I wake up. I'm just worried that we're falling apart." A few more tears filled your eyes.

Jiraiya gave you a comforting smile. "But he does come home, right?"

You thought about it. He might not have been there when you woke up, but you would always wake up in the comfortable bed that the two of you shared instead of on the couch where you had passed out the night before. He did come home. Always.

You nodded to the elder ninja. 

"Well then, there you go. That's how you know there's still hope. So, you know what you've got to do?"

Your puffy eyes looked into his tiny, sparkling orbs. You shook your head. "What?"

He held up the little black book and smiled slyly. Your own frown suddenly twisted into a bright, excited smile. You took the little black book from him and turned it over in your hands a few times.

"So, you ready?" Jiraiya asked, taking a large gulp of his tea.

You smiled back at him and wiped the rest of the teardrops from your eyes. "Game on."


	4. Step One: The Irresistible Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love you guys, I'm happy this story is getting some attention again :)

Step One: The Irresistible Smile

_There's something about the flash of a woman's teeth behind the gentle curve of soft lips that makes males go weak at the knees. Perhaps it's the contrast of that pearly white against the red lip stain that has us falling head over heels. Maybe it's the bend of that sly smile that gets us thinking: "Those lips would fit perfectly between my own." However, from my professional point of view and personal experience, I believe the most likely reason for such excitement over a small lick of the lips or crack of a smile is the endless scenarios it causes us to imagine. With one look at a female's lips, we're between silk sheets together - tossing and turning over one another as those sweet, soft kissers dance down my neck, releasing hot breaths. After seeing just one canine, I'm on the couch and our clothes are coming off. I'm whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she moves down my chest. All the while those teeth are nipping, biting, and sucking at my soft skin as I pant, coming closer and closer to -_

You slammed the black book shut and frantically pushed it off your bed sheets. Your cheeks had long passed a flushed pink and were now a full, rose red color. Your heart was racing and your body was heating up fast.

" _Yuck!_ " you spat. "What is this crap?! Stupid, old man and his stupid, smutty book!" You furiously stood up from your bed and marched to the window to open it. "I never should have resorted to this!" You tried to take a few deep breaths, but your heart was still racing. "IT IS TOO DAMN HOT IN HERE!" Angrily, you ripped off your tank top before throwing yourself back onto your bed in a huff. 

In truth, you weren't upset with the book and you hadn't read enough to justify calling it stupid. You knew that. But the fact that just one paragraph of Jiraiya's writing had gotten you so hot and heavy made you furious. Almost furious enough to stop reading. What if it only became more descriptive and detailed? You shuttered. Was it worth it? 

The more you thought about it, the more desperate you felt and the sillier it seemed to give up already. 

"I'll just... skip ahead!" you said to yourself, trying to be reassuring. 

You reached over the mattress and grabbed the thin book from the wood floor. Opening it back up to chapter one, you flipped through the first set of pages looking for the real advice. 

_So how do you master this knock-out smile? It's simple really. Start by getting in the mood. If you feel sexy and confident, you're going to look it! Here are some simple steps to getting yourself into a seductive mood..._

* * *

After following every step to the letter - a hot bath, some lacy underwear under a loose t-shirt, tousled hair and a glass of wine - you were feeling more than prepared for Kakashi's arrive home.

You decided to play it cool. You had plopped yourself down on the couch with a frivolous romance novel. (One of your own choosing even though Jiraiya had, of course, slyly recommended one of his works). 

_5\. Sit Down With a Steamy Book - A good, romantic read will get you in the perfect mood for a fully mastered, seductive smile. Remember, the hotter the better! The_ Icha Icha Paradise _series is a personal favorite of mine. The author has such a charming way with words, it's guaranteed to get you going! (Volumes one through three, available now!)_

The light read you had picked out did the trick. Paired with all the other steps, you did in fact feel sexier and ready for your mission. In the back of your head you gave apologies to Jiraiya for calling his book stupid that morning. He actually gave some decent advice. But now came the real test.

You heard the front door creak open and then shut swiftly. You didn't even flinch. You were going to remain as calm and collected as possible. This was it. 

"This is not going to be like the other night, it's not!" you mumbled to yourself. You waited until you felt Kakashi's presence in the doorway to look up from your book. "Well, good evening," you purred.

The man walked across the room and plopped down on the other end of the couch. "Hi."

You crawled across the sofa to his side like a puppy and made extra sure your loose t-shirt slid up to your waist to reveal a smooth back and rounded rear, accented by carefully chosen lace panties. "Wow, you just look beat. Long day?" You delicately placed a hand on his thigh. 

He leaned forward to drop his head into his hands. "You could say that."

You scooted closer and crawled up over his legs, straddling his hips. You were going for it. You were going for it all. You took his hands and placed them gently on your hips. Your own palms came up to rest on his cheeks and your gaze locked with his. 

"Is there... something I could do? To make it better?" 

You could see the sparkle in your eyes reflect in his own, wide orb. You let the corner of your mouth twitch up into the slightest curve. You parted your lips, showing some teeth and leaned in. Your fingers tugged down on the mask that kept his lips from yours and you moved in closer. Hot breaths slipped past your lips and danced onto his. You loved the pink color this was bringing to his cheeks. 

"Uh..." he stuttered as your hands moved down over his shoulders and pressed hard against his chest. You forced him back into the sofa and moved in even closer. "Actually..." he managed to spit out.

"What is it?" you asked, your voice husky. "Go on Kakashi... _say it._ " Your lips brushed against his as you spoke. 

"Well..." he began again, but this time he was cut off by a loud rumble echoing from down the hall and approaching the room. You were quickly pulled from your thoughts and turned instinctively towards the noise in the hall, only to be swiftly knocked off Kakshi's lap and to the floor by a flying canine.

Strong paws stood on your chest, pinning you to the hardwood and a wet tongue greeted your face with wild enthusiasm. 

"Bisuke!" you cried, wiggling beneath his paws. "Bisuke, get off!" The dog paused for a moment, but rather than obliging to your screams he continued to lick your face and was joined by seven more slimy, pink tongues and many more strong paws. Being the highly trained ninja-dogs they were and possessing unreal strength, you were stuck and helplessly pinned down by their tiny feet.

Kakashi chuckled nervously from above you. "Well, you see..." He placed a hand on the back of his neck awkwardly. "They had so much extra energy, but I was just so exhausted that... well..." 

The dogs halted their tongues to look up at their master. Beneath the pooches paws you glared angrily at your boyfriend, suggesting he spit out his words soon.

"Well I promised you'd take them for a nice long run tonight! You know to... get their energy out!" 

Your cheeks turned a hot red. You were fuming with so much anger, you didn't even have words.

"Yes, well, I'm just going to head on up to bed!" Kakashi stood from the couch and quickly trotted to the stairs. "Oh and uh, if you'd be a dear and feed them when you get back?" 

You let out a deep growl of anger and he disappeared up the stairs.

The dogs returned to giving you their slimy affection. "Kakashi, you _JERK!_ " you cried, remaining helpless on the floor.


	5. Step Two: Innuendos on Everything

Step Two: Innuendos on Everything

_One of the most important findings of my research is that every man has a dirty mind. After adolescence, if a man is given the opportunity to think about sex he will. Whatever the situation, he will. It could be a Sunday lunch at grandma’s or an afternoon walk in the park; his mind is always crawling with thoughts of a beautiful woman’s body! So, how can a beautiful woman use this to her advantage? It may seem impossible, but my dear I assure you that you have the power to control his thoughts. How you wonder? It’s simple: innuendos on everything._

 _Innuendos?_ you thought to yourself. _How on earth am I supposed to use innuendos on Kakashi? He reads so much of that smutty crap, I don't think double-entendres would have much of an effect anymore._

You continued to wrack your brain for ideas, staring down into a bowl of chocolate liquid. Each stroke of your spoon, churning the batter, was like a new thought in your mind melting in with all of the other failed ideas. You sighed deeply and placed the mixing bowl back on the counter. You wiped your hands on your navy apron. 

"Oh well," you sighed, slipping an oven mitt on each hand. "I've got too much to do today I'll worry about it later." 

Turning to the stove, you checked the time. Only a few seconds left on the clock. It wouldn't hurt to take the last batch of brownies out now. A wave of heat washed over you as you opened the oven's door. With it came the rich sent of warm, gooey, melt-in-your mouth deliciousness. Carefully pulling the pan of sweets off the rack, you could see the beautiful, even, brown color. You couldn't help but smile at your excellent work. 

"Wow, another masterpiece. I’m amazing." You smirked. Cautiously, you placed the pan on the stovetop and headed to the pantry for another tray. 

A curious voice came from behind you. "Are you…baking?"

"Yes I am," you said dryly, but didn't otherwise react to the new presence in the kitchen. You still hadn’t forgiven him for the night before. "But it's not for you." You got down on your knees to grab the last tray on the bottom shelf. "It's for the kid's at the academy. They'll all be moving up a class tomorrow." 

You set the new tray on the kitchen counter and started to pour the chocolate mix in.

“Oh.” Kakashi had silently moved to your side. “You sure I couldn’t help? I’d happily be your taste-tester.” A hand came to rest on your lower back and you saw the smile in the ninja’s eyes. You continued to smooth the batter in the pan with a spatula, making it as even as you could. Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. 

“Nope,” you said and turned to your boyfriend. “I already know they’re perfect. This is the work of a master craftswoman.”

“Oh really?” he chuckled.

“Yup.” You brought the spatula to your lips. “The work of a woman good with her hands” -your tongue scraped the gooey chocolate liquid from the spoon and you smirked- “and her mouth”.

With that, you grabbed the pan off the counter and moved to place it in the oven. You knew you had gotten his attention. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him slightly stiffen and then sigh. It may have been a small one, but the lack of any sarcastic comment or witty reply from the man made this step a success.


End file.
